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Look After Your Wife
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I was sitting on the patio relaxing, while my wife was mowing the lawn. Cheryl from next door looked over and yelled, "You lazy idiot! Sitting there while your poor wife pushes that lawn mower around. You should be doing the mowing yourself."
I felt really bad, so I went out and got her a Ride-On mower. Now, my wife can now sit down while she cuts the lawn.
You know, I'm much too soft with her. She'll probably want gears on it next.