A Neighbour's Dog
An elderly spinster who was a dog lover, agreed to look after her neighbour's dog while they went on vacation.
The only problem was that the spinster's dog was a bitch on heat, and the neighbour's dog was a male. Nevertheless, she had a large house and thought she could keep the two dogs apart.
As she lay in bed drifting off to sleep, the spinster was suddenly alarmed by an awful howling noise coming from downstairs.
She rushed downstairs to find the two dogs locked together, as dogs do when mating.
The dogs were obvious in pain, but unable to disengage.
Try as she might, she couldn't part them, and was perplexed as to what to do next.
Though it was very late, she reluctantly phoned the vet and after quite a long delay, a rather grumpy voice answered the phone.
The spinster explained the problem to the vet.
The vet said, "I want you to take the phone to the dogs and place it down alongside them. I'll phone you back, and the noise of the phone ringing should make the male dog lose his erection and be able to withdraw from the bitch."
"Ok," said the spinster, "But, do you think that will really work?"
"Well," said the vet, "It f**king worked when you rang me!"