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Retirement In Alaska
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far away from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets his groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After 6 months of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge bearded man is standing there.
"Name is Larry, your neighbor from 40 miles down river. Having a party Friday night. Thought you might like to come. About 7:00 PM"
"Great", says Tom, "After 6 months out here, I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As Larry is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you though.... be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem," says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More'n likely gonna be some fightin' too!"
"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again."
"More'n likely be some wild sex, too!"
"Now that's really not a problem," says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been alone for 6 months. I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"
"Don't matter much.... Just gonna be the two of us."